The long and Winding Path of Courage

Today in Courage:  

This is my path forward today.  This particular route has taunted me for the last couple of years and today I am embarking on the forward journey. You see, this is a path I know well, have previously rode often and have many, many memories of “what was” prior to Greg’s passing. 

Anyone who has experienced the death of their spouse, best friend, the person they DID life with, will likely understand when I talk about the emotional and mental challenge in going back to some of the activities that we used to love to do with our person.  One of those activities for me is biking.  Greg and I joyously bought new bikes about five years ago.  We are fortunate to live close to many lovely and scenic bike paths.  We would often pack up a picnic, put the bikes on the back of the car and head out for an adventure.  Or one of us would simply say, “Let’s go for a bike ride!” and we would jump on our bikes and join the path not far from our home.  There were sunset rides and breezy morning rides.  It didn’t matter the circumstances, we were in it together.  The memories are many. 

So here I am ready to conquer this next step for myself.  Getting back to the paths we rode together, for me, involves a readiness to embrace and integrate the memories so I can continue to experience all the things in life I still love to do, even when I miss the person I did them with.  As I said, it has taken me a couple of years to get to this place of readiness for this particular endeavor.  Grieving for me is becoming about both loving fully what was and living and loving fully in what is. Transformation with grief as my guide has involved a lot of soul searching, inner work, and rebuilding my courage muscle.  This may sound dramatic to some, but to those that know this deep loss of love, it likely hits home.  Healing takes time, healing takes energy and healing takes a commitment to oneself.  I am ready for this particular path today.  The path is long and winding and full of not just “what was” but also “what is”.  I feel my courage muscle growing as I put foot to the pedal. Maybe I will see some of you out on your own courage ride this summer 🚵😀.